Bureaucratic Insanity x 8

The adoption process requires newly obtained copies of Bob's birth certificate from Texas. He actually has the original from 1966, but in this case the original is no good; has to be a new copy from the appropriate state agency. Bureaucratic insanity #1.

We sent in an application for two copies of his birth certificate in January; the very night we decided to "go for it" on the adoption. However, he failed to read the fine print and include copy of his photo ID. Think about it...we are requesting copies of birth certificates by mail. What in the world are they going to do with a photo ID?!! Bureaucratic insanity #2.

It took the Texas agency over two months to realize the photo ID was missing. Bureaucratic insanity #3. On March 17 we received a letter on agency letterhead saying so. Bob sent a copy of his driver's license on 20th of March. No response...for a month.

On April 18 Bob began a futile campaign to contact the processing clerk who had been so kind as to provide her direct line phone number and personal email address. At first we were astonished that these means of direct contact had been provided. After three voice mails and two un-returned emails we realized it was a ruse designed to give a false sense of customer care. We expected no such ability to make direct contact. That would have been bureaucratic insanity. Instead, they took insanity and twisted it by teasing him with means of contact that would receive no response. Let's call this bureaucratic insanity #s 4 & 5 just because of how devious it was.

Then, the story takes a truly elegant turn. On April 28, in a rare moment of creative insight Bob looked at the letter from the agency...looked at the email address of the clerk...looked at the letterhead...noticed the name of the Commissioner of the Texas Department of State Health Services on the letter head...looked at the clerk's email address...noticed the email address was in the format firstname.lastname@dshs.state.tx.us...looked again at the Commissioner's name...got an idea.

Bob wrote one more email, addressed to commisionerfirstname.lastname@dshs.state.tx.us.

"Mr. Sanchez,

I mailed in a request for 2 copies of my Texas birth certificate in January. Your organization received the request on 1/26/05 and gave it the Req. # P131886. However, I failed to include a copy of my photo ID. Two months later, I received a letter indicating that a photo ID was required. I supplied the photo ID within days of receiving the letter on 3/20/05.

I have heard nothing since then. I have left several voice messages for Martha Almendarez (martha.almendarez@dshs.state.tx.us) and sent emails to her, as well. Nothing. It has been almost three months since I sent my request (and payment). My check was cashed in January, but I have not received what I paid for.

I can appreciate that your office is over-worked and under-staffed. But, there is no excuse, in my mind, for ignoring my voice messages and emails.

By the way, because of the delays, this has become urgent for me. We are in the process of adopting a child and a recent copy of my birth certificate is a mandatory document. I appreciate any help you can provide to get the certificates to me. Thanks a lot.

-Bob "

Within an hour he received a voice mail from the commissioner's assistant. "Mr. Lane, we have received your request for a copy of your birth certificate. In March we sent you a request for photo identification. We still have not received that. We need to have a copy of a photo ID in order to process your request." Bureaucratic insanity #6.

In disbelief he made another copy and faxed it to the agency. While at the fax machine another voice mail was received. "Mr. Lane, we have found the photo ID you sent in March. Our apologies. We will mail the birth certificates this afternoon. Sorry for the inconvenience." Should we call this # 7 since they found it so soon after swearing they never got it? Sure. Bureaucratic insanity #7.

Here is the follow up email from the commissioner's assistant:

"Mr. Lane,

This is in response to your email to Dr. Eduardo Sanchez, Commissioner of the Texas Department of State Health Services, regarding your request for copies of your birth certificate.

Our records indicate that a photocopy of your picture id was received by this office in early April, and the two certified copies you requested were issued and mailed on April 29, 2004.

Our policy is to return customer telephone calls and emails within 24 hours of receipt. The Vital Statistics representative assigned to your case has been counseled on the importance of providing quality customer service and adhering to written policy on returning customer telephone calls and/or emails.

We strive to provide all our customers with quality service in the most efficient manner possible and apologize for any inconvenience our delay in servicing your request may have caused you.

Please feel free to contact me if I can be of further assistance."

Nice enough. We are happy that it was finally resolved after clever deduction of one very important email address.

Now, for the final kicker. Despite the fact that the document we received is a birth certificate we have to send it back to Texas so that the Secretary of State can certify that it is a true TX document. Bureaucratic insanity #8.